I realize its been six months since I blogged here. I think occasionally about this space and how to best sum up the last six months of my life and since I didn't have words to do that, I've stayed away from here.
My life became very difficult in about April (despite what my perky blog posts would seem to reflect) when I begged my doctors to change one of the medications that I'm on. Zyprexa had been a good drug for me, mentally. I've had stable moods for nearly seven years, but it wasn't so good for the rest of me - weight gain, the beginning of metabolic syndrome (high cholesterol and high blood sugars) and teetering on the edge of diabetes. There were two new drugs that came on the market and I bent my doctors' arms into letting me try them out. Neither Abilify or Zeldox (Geodon) were what we'd hoped they'd be which was incredibly hard as my moods raged out of control. It was five months of sky-highs and soul crushing lows and in September I went back on Zyprexa. It didn't take long for me to go back to being stable.
Even though Zyprexa evens out my moods, it can be a frustrating medication in other respects. Not just the physical things (weight gain, etc) but also how sedated it makes me. If there was one amazing thing about my time off Zyprexa, it was that I could think with crystal clarity! I haven't thought that clearly in years and giving that up, no matter how hard the mood swings were, was a very hard decision. It was nice to be able to spar verbally with dad and Jill and to engage in meaningful conversation and debate with other people in my life. Unfortunately the extremes that my moods went to made going back to the world of 'stoned indifference' the only option. As hard as it is to be foggy and to not be able to concentrate or read for pleasure (or learning, for that matter), I decided that it was more important to be stable and reliable than it was to argue passionately.
Some would say that sharing my medication woes and deep truths about what its like to have a mood disorder isn't appropriate. They've said I should just mind my P's and Q's and keep this sort of information quiet except to the closest people in my life but ya know, I'm tired of living like that. I'm not ashamed that I've got a mental illness. Its just a piece of what makes a whole and its not shameful by any stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately some think that mental illness is best kept quiet. I wonder if they really understand what keeping this kind of thing secret is really like and if they know how it only compounds the problem. I refuse to let my mood instability be something people whisper about behind my back. I welcome questions and curiosity!
But the good news is that my life is back on track, thanks in part to my old medication but also because I've got amazing family and friends who stand by me no matter what my moods do. I'm grateful.
Moving Forward with Joy.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Hello!
I trust this finds you all well.
Things here are getting busier and busier! We're gearing up for our family reunion in a little over two weeks! Gosh, we can't believe how quick this is coming upon us... mom and dad in particular have been busiest. They've done lots of yard work - no more than normal, actually, but it has a special feeling about it now because we're expecting 85 of our closest relatives for three days. Gotta make the place shine! This is dad's side of the family that we're expecting and we couldn't be happier. We're only hoping now for good weather. We've had an incredibly wet spring in the Fraser Valley and we're praying for at least one sunny weekend - namely the weekend of July 15th!
And in that vein, we took a family trip to Costco yesterday. I've been there only once or twice as a young child so its still very exciting to me. I'm certainly not in the market for hardwood flooring or bulk flatwear but I picked up a few good deals on olives, toilet paper and peach cups (in apple juice of course, not syrup - 15g of carbs in each cup and less if you don't drink the juice! yay.). Also found a deal on canned cat food that I'm sure Georgina will appreciate and even managed to find the world largest bag of chocolate chips - 5 pounds! Ok, I'm sure there are bigger bags but its the biggest I've seen! It was a great experience and as a birthday gift to me, Mike bought me $40 of my groceries. So kind!
Mom and dad got some good deals, too. Plastic cutlery, ketchup, and pickles... and who knows what else. It'll all be well used for the reunion.
I'm doubly excited about this reunion as I wasn't originally intending to go. My seizures are triggered by camera flashes so large gatherings have been completely out of the question for the last eight years. But my dear friend Michelle has been teaching me mobility skills for the blind and even bought me my own cane. So I'll be at the reunion, just in an adapted, Deedee-safe, sorta way! I have my sleepshade and my cane and will be getting a funky pair of sunglasses to go over top of said sleepshade... and voila - Deedee can go to the family reunion! I know its rather unorthodox but it would be more of a shame for me to miss the whole shin-dig then for me to have to come 'blind'. I'm excited to see everyone and hug the life out of my aunts from Alberta. Plus we're having a pig roast on Friday evening and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss that! lol. I think its a good way to have both me there as well as all the pictures people want to take. Best of both worlds, in my opinion.
Am just on my way out the door to mom and dad's for supper. Homemade pizza. YUM!
Moving foward with Joy!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Hello folks.
As you can see, I've given this blog a facelift. It needed some lovin' and a new Spring look! Let me know if you have any strong view on the new colours and fonts.
Mom and dad spent the afternoon here, helping me with a few things. Dad fixed all my screen windows as well as my hide-a-bed that was broken ages ago. We got lots accomplished and even started on the adapter for my patio window, where the air conditioner will hook up. (Its previously been attached to my kitchen window but its no long practical to have it there). We finished with supper, which mom made for us while dad and I worked away, fixing things. It was strange to have someone else cook in my kitchen but the meal was delightful.
I've had two major excitements in the last two days.
One of them is this:
I have a 'pest' problem. I live on the ground-floor of my apartment block and there are squirrels and cats galore who enjoyed using my planters as both a place to store their treasures (nuts and the like) as well as using it as a convenient bathroom. It was a major pain in the neck for me... as soon as I'd get anything growing, the squirrels and cats would dig it up. BUT this contraption should fix that problem. It was originally a habitat for raising hamsters and guinea pigs. Dad found it abandoned downtown by the old court house and immediately saw potential in it. It was in really really sad shape but after a few weeks, its been reinforced, repainted and re-fibre glassed and is lookin' pretty spiffy! I've planted my 'garden' in it, beans, carrots, spinich, dill. And I'm looking forward to being able to enjoy some of those veggies this year! yay!
The other most major excitement of my last couple days is the arrival of Georgina:
Sorry the picture is a bit blurry. She's 7 weeks old and weighs in at 1 pound! And she's about as big as a brick of butter, too. So adorable. She's currently confined to the bathroom... now that I know she's figured out the litter box, I've been letting her explore her surroundings a bit more - adventures in the living room, kitchen and dining room. I think I'll keep her in the bathroom at night for a few more days but she seems to be settling in very nicely. We have a new apartment manager who doesn't mind us having pets, so I've paid the pet deposit and now Georgina has a home with me.
There's been plenty of other things going on, most notably preparing for the reunion next month. Golly, I can't believe how fast its creeping up on us! I've been baking lots for it... every 10 days I've been making a different kind of Amish bread and then freeze both loaves. They freeze and thaw well plus it means that I'll get my baking done while its still cool out. I found this site. Its got TONS of new amish bread recipes. I've got the Apple Streusel Amish Bread in the oven right now. Lookin' pretty good and smells even better! I'm looking forward to trying the coconut cream one next. I split my starter this time, so I've got three other starters. I'm gong to freeze two so that if I kill my starter again I won't have to pester my patient Aunt for some of her sourdough starter! And the remaining starter (besides the one I'll keep to make even more bread!) will make the coconut cream one tomorrow after I go grocery shopping. There'll be over 90 people at the reunion - I'm sure they'll eat all the Amish Bread I can make! haha.
Blessings for all of you out there as you go about your days.
Moving Forward with Joy
As you can see, I've given this blog a facelift. It needed some lovin' and a new Spring look! Let me know if you have any strong view on the new colours and fonts.
Mom and dad spent the afternoon here, helping me with a few things. Dad fixed all my screen windows as well as my hide-a-bed that was broken ages ago. We got lots accomplished and even started on the adapter for my patio window, where the air conditioner will hook up. (Its previously been attached to my kitchen window but its no long practical to have it there). We finished with supper, which mom made for us while dad and I worked away, fixing things. It was strange to have someone else cook in my kitchen but the meal was delightful.
I've had two major excitements in the last two days.
One of them is this:
I have a 'pest' problem. I live on the ground-floor of my apartment block and there are squirrels and cats galore who enjoyed using my planters as both a place to store their treasures (nuts and the like) as well as using it as a convenient bathroom. It was a major pain in the neck for me... as soon as I'd get anything growing, the squirrels and cats would dig it up. BUT this contraption should fix that problem. It was originally a habitat for raising hamsters and guinea pigs. Dad found it abandoned downtown by the old court house and immediately saw potential in it. It was in really really sad shape but after a few weeks, its been reinforced, repainted and re-fibre glassed and is lookin' pretty spiffy! I've planted my 'garden' in it, beans, carrots, spinich, dill. And I'm looking forward to being able to enjoy some of those veggies this year! yay!The other most major excitement of my last couple days is the arrival of Georgina:
Sorry the picture is a bit blurry. She's 7 weeks old and weighs in at 1 pound! And she's about as big as a brick of butter, too. So adorable. She's currently confined to the bathroom... now that I know she's figured out the litter box, I've been letting her explore her surroundings a bit more - adventures in the living room, kitchen and dining room. I think I'll keep her in the bathroom at night for a few more days but she seems to be settling in very nicely. We have a new apartment manager who doesn't mind us having pets, so I've paid the pet deposit and now Georgina has a home with me.
There's been plenty of other things going on, most notably preparing for the reunion next month. Golly, I can't believe how fast its creeping up on us! I've been baking lots for it... every 10 days I've been making a different kind of Amish bread and then freeze both loaves. They freeze and thaw well plus it means that I'll get my baking done while its still cool out. I found this site. Its got TONS of new amish bread recipes. I've got the Apple Streusel Amish Bread in the oven right now. Lookin' pretty good and smells even better! I'm looking forward to trying the coconut cream one next. I split my starter this time, so I've got three other starters. I'm gong to freeze two so that if I kill my starter again I won't have to pester my patient Aunt for some of her sourdough starter! And the remaining starter (besides the one I'll keep to make even more bread!) will make the coconut cream one tomorrow after I go grocery shopping. There'll be over 90 people at the reunion - I'm sure they'll eat all the Amish Bread I can make! haha.
Blessings for all of you out there as you go about your days.
Moving Forward with Joy
Friday, May 27, 2011
Egg-Free Breakfasts
Hello!
Its interesting what can happen in a month's time, isn't it?
My month has mostly centered on medication changes. It hasn't been easy but I think we've got a keeper. I'm pleased to report this, as my month has seen highs and lows. I'm not out of the woods yet by any means since these drug changes (adding a new drug, taking away another) won't be finished for another month or two. There's a light at the end of my tunnel, I'm happy to say.
This new drug of mine has to be taken with a meal ("not a snack" as the pharmacist and doctor have told me time and time again) so I've actually had to start eating breakfast and supper at the same time each day. That might not sound so bad but it truly is a pain in the rump! Working nights doesn't help but I think I've found a system, thank goodness.
Breakfast is the biggest challenge as I'm badly allergic to eggs and eggs happen to be one of the quickest and easiest breakfasts out there. So, I've turned to oatmeal. Porridge, granola, and the newest addition to my diet, baked oatmeal. I had to go searching the web for new things to do with oats and came across a recipe for it on a vegan website (vegan = no eggs or dairy). I've had some success with the recipe and have made a few tweaks to it, taking into consideration my many other allergies. And all the while, still counting carbs.
Vegan Baked Oatmeal
2 cups oats (I use rolled oats)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup apple sauce
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup milk (I used coconut but the recipe actually calls for rice)
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
Mix wet ingredients with dry then pour into a greased 8x8 pan.
Bake at 350*F for 25 to 30 minutes
Let set 5 to 10 minutes before serving
1/6 of the pan = one serving = 33g carbs
I was short on cow's milk this last time but I happened to have canned coconut milk. I don't use it very often and I always forget to shake it well before opening the can! I did some fancy work with a wisk and then went from there.
The baked oatmeal turns out great and freezes well. I freeze single-servings and then throw it in the fridge to thaw at night, then heat in the microwave in the morning for quick breakfasts. Top with milk (think: porridge) or yogurt and you're good to go.
If anyone out there has egg-free breakfast ideas, please pass them on!
Bed is calling but I hope this finds you well.
Moving forward, as ever, with Joy.
Its interesting what can happen in a month's time, isn't it?
My month has mostly centered on medication changes. It hasn't been easy but I think we've got a keeper. I'm pleased to report this, as my month has seen highs and lows. I'm not out of the woods yet by any means since these drug changes (adding a new drug, taking away another) won't be finished for another month or two. There's a light at the end of my tunnel, I'm happy to say.
This new drug of mine has to be taken with a meal ("not a snack" as the pharmacist and doctor have told me time and time again) so I've actually had to start eating breakfast and supper at the same time each day. That might not sound so bad but it truly is a pain in the rump! Working nights doesn't help but I think I've found a system, thank goodness.
Breakfast is the biggest challenge as I'm badly allergic to eggs and eggs happen to be one of the quickest and easiest breakfasts out there. So, I've turned to oatmeal. Porridge, granola, and the newest addition to my diet, baked oatmeal. I had to go searching the web for new things to do with oats and came across a recipe for it on a vegan website (vegan = no eggs or dairy). I've had some success with the recipe and have made a few tweaks to it, taking into consideration my many other allergies. And all the while, still counting carbs.
Vegan Baked Oatmeal
2 cups oats (I use rolled oats)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup apple sauce
1 tsp vanilla
3/4 cup milk (I used coconut but the recipe actually calls for rice)
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
Mix wet ingredients with dry then pour into a greased 8x8 pan.
Bake at 350*F for 25 to 30 minutes
Let set 5 to 10 minutes before serving
1/6 of the pan = one serving = 33g carbs
I was short on cow's milk this last time but I happened to have canned coconut milk. I don't use it very often and I always forget to shake it well before opening the can! I did some fancy work with a wisk and then went from there.
The baked oatmeal turns out great and freezes well. I freeze single-servings and then throw it in the fridge to thaw at night, then heat in the microwave in the morning for quick breakfasts. Top with milk (think: porridge) or yogurt and you're good to go.
If anyone out there has egg-free breakfast ideas, please pass them on!
Bed is calling but I hope this finds you well.
Moving forward, as ever, with Joy.
Monday, May 2, 2011
"A left-winged radical at heart"
This post is an extension of a conversation that was had on my Facebook wall. I had to remove it to keep things pleasant but I wanted to write about it here just so that people better understand what I meant when I posted on my wall that: "You're right, celebrating someone's death isn't the Christian thing to do. I'm not happy that I'm glad someone is dead. Its great that some of ya can live that Martin Luther King Jr quote but I know I can't"
The quote that prompted that was this:
Let me be honest and to-the-point, I'm not happy that he's dead. I'm just happy that he can't go on leaving such destruction and death in his wake. I agree with the spirit of the quote - we can't fight hate with hate - but I don't honestly think that's what we're doing. The Canadian war in Afghanistan isn't about us hating Muslims, or even extremists. At least, that isn't my understanding of it. Its about putting a stop to the way awful way people are treated and the terrible way a country is run. I think its fair to say that the Extremists there hate us but I can safely say that I don't hate them. We're fighting hate with "get them to stop destroying lives, already!". I think that most Canadians don't really give a damn about extremists (of all stripes), I just think we want them to live their lives as peacefully as we live ours.
I think Afghanistan is a very interesting and beautiful country and I think the people that live there are even more so. I don't hate any of them! And I never hated bin Laden, my naive Canadian hope was that he would see the error of his ways and would decide on his own to stop hurting people! At least now he's no longer a threat.
I can't truly live that quote which is why I posted my comment in such a way. I'm not proud that I'm pleased he's no longer breathing but I know I'm not the only one who feels that way!
Facebook isn't a good place for strong opinions, in my opinion, so I took down my post. I think everyone has a right to their opinions (and you're all welcome to share them in the comment section here, if you choose) but I'm very aware of the variety of people who read my wall... I don't want them offended. It wasn't wise of me to bring up something so inflammatory there which is truly why I removed the post.
Thanks.
The quote that prompted that was this:
A number of my friends posted that quote from Dr. King and while I agree with the principle - that we can't fight hate with hate - I think that its far too idealistic and that Martin Luther King Jr meant a lot more about hatred then just us being mad at one son-of-a-bleep who inspired such hatred and evil in the world.
Let me be honest and to-the-point, I'm not happy that he's dead. I'm just happy that he can't go on leaving such destruction and death in his wake. I agree with the spirit of the quote - we can't fight hate with hate - but I don't honestly think that's what we're doing. The Canadian war in Afghanistan isn't about us hating Muslims, or even extremists. At least, that isn't my understanding of it. Its about putting a stop to the way awful way people are treated and the terrible way a country is run. I think its fair to say that the Extremists there hate us but I can safely say that I don't hate them. We're fighting hate with "get them to stop destroying lives, already!". I think that most Canadians don't really give a damn about extremists (of all stripes), I just think we want them to live their lives as peacefully as we live ours.
I think Afghanistan is a very interesting and beautiful country and I think the people that live there are even more so. I don't hate any of them! And I never hated bin Laden, my naive Canadian hope was that he would see the error of his ways and would decide on his own to stop hurting people! At least now he's no longer a threat.
I can't truly live that quote which is why I posted my comment in such a way. I'm not proud that I'm pleased he's no longer breathing but I know I'm not the only one who feels that way!
Facebook isn't a good place for strong opinions, in my opinion, so I took down my post. I think everyone has a right to their opinions (and you're all welcome to share them in the comment section here, if you choose) but I'm very aware of the variety of people who read my wall... I don't want them offended. It wasn't wise of me to bring up something so inflammatory there which is truly why I removed the post.
Thanks.
Monday, April 25, 2011
ten simple things
In the same vein as this gal
Simply Ten Good Things:
1. A long night at work
2. Good company through that shift
3. A mom and dad who are waiting expectantly for details of that shift
4. Six hours sleep with no interruptions (not for another hour, though)
5. Banana-Peach yogurt smoothies
6. The mere fact that I can eat both peaches AND bananas
7. A sister and her man-friend who ply me with iced coffees to keep me going
8. A nice warm shower
9. Porridge for supper
10. Another interesting night ahead of me
Hope you can make up your own list of "ten simple things" that have made your day.
Moving forward with Joy
Simply Ten Good Things:
1. A long night at work
2. Good company through that shift
3. A mom and dad who are waiting expectantly for details of that shift
4. Six hours sleep with no interruptions (not for another hour, though)
5. Banana-Peach yogurt smoothies
6. The mere fact that I can eat both peaches AND bananas
7. A sister and her man-friend who ply me with iced coffees to keep me going
8. A nice warm shower
9. Porridge for supper
10. Another interesting night ahead of me
Hope you can make up your own list of "ten simple things" that have made your day.
Moving forward with Joy
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Hello!
Thanks for all the support you all have sent me following my rant about seizures and how they're portrayed in the Bible. It means a lot that not everyone is crazy and thinks folks with seizures are full of demons. Unfortunately, there are people I've come into contact with (some of them being former friends) who believe that my seizures are a result of past sin. Its stupid really but what can I say? I'm glad to have people around me who aren't narrow minded like that! Merci Bien!
I have some exciting news - I had a conversation with my boss earlier this evening... and she's given me the thumbs-up for a trip to Halifax this September! I can't tell you how excited I am!! I'm trying not to get lost in the thrill of it but its hard. I'm really looking forward to time with Jenny, Josh and the kids... seeing their new place, being a sneaky house-elf while she's putting the kids to bed, leaving little presents for everyone when they're asleep. I'm looking forward to it all! I miss them so much and I dearly look forward to another chance to experience the friendly atmosphere of the east coast!
We're still determining how long I'll be gone for and whether I'll be traveling alone or with one/both of my parents. But I know that there's lots of time to figure that out. September is still five months away! I know how fast the time flew when preparing for my last trip and this time will be no different. But more than anything, these trips of mine are bathed in prayer. Prayers for safety as I travel, for a seizure-free experience altogether, etc. When God's involved, anything is possible.
Joyfully moving forward, now more than ever.
Thanks for all the support you all have sent me following my rant about seizures and how they're portrayed in the Bible. It means a lot that not everyone is crazy and thinks folks with seizures are full of demons. Unfortunately, there are people I've come into contact with (some of them being former friends) who believe that my seizures are a result of past sin. Its stupid really but what can I say? I'm glad to have people around me who aren't narrow minded like that! Merci Bien!
I have some exciting news - I had a conversation with my boss earlier this evening... and she's given me the thumbs-up for a trip to Halifax this September! I can't tell you how excited I am!! I'm trying not to get lost in the thrill of it but its hard. I'm really looking forward to time with Jenny, Josh and the kids... seeing their new place, being a sneaky house-elf while she's putting the kids to bed, leaving little presents for everyone when they're asleep. I'm looking forward to it all! I miss them so much and I dearly look forward to another chance to experience the friendly atmosphere of the east coast!
We're still determining how long I'll be gone for and whether I'll be traveling alone or with one/both of my parents. But I know that there's lots of time to figure that out. September is still five months away! I know how fast the time flew when preparing for my last trip and this time will be no different. But more than anything, these trips of mine are bathed in prayer. Prayers for safety as I travel, for a seizure-free experience altogether, etc. When God's involved, anything is possible.
Joyfully moving forward, now more than ever.
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