Hey there folks.
Its been a sad few days here. Sad, confused and frustrated, actually.
There's a lot of heartbreaking stuff going on at my church (Cooke's)... a lot of bitter disagreements, anger and division. Its so complicated and everyone has a different version of the truth. There's both truth and deceptions in every different version that I hear. At first I thought it was my job to uncover the truth but after hearing five or six vastly different stories, I've decided that there's no sense talking to anyone else.
At the end of the day, we've lost our choir director/organist. Lines have been drawn and the choir and congregation are fit to be tied.
I guess what's upset me the most is the utter shock I feel. Until last Thursday, I had no idea any of this was going on. I knew that there were church politics but I didn't think it was anything earth shattering. The last ministers were friends of mine and they kept me pretty shielded from the evil stuff going on and after they left, the congregation has carefully left me out of it. I'm thankful to everyone who protected me from all this.
I spoke out of turn at the AGM on Sunday, not understanding what was going on, what the differing positions were. I upset a few people but that was certainly not my intention. I told them they were being silly. And maybe they are but they each believe their own version of the truth so strongly that it wasn't right of me to criticize. It would have been better for me to just sit and listen. I was upset to see perfectly intelligent Christian adults pointing fingers at each other and I thought that calling them out on their ridiculous games would be for the best, even though it wasn't. I came away from there confused above all but also hurt that these people whom I dearly love were slinging insults and conspiracies at each other... it was nothing like the 'brotherly love' they fake on Sundays. I saw true colours at that meeting in dark shades I didn't know existed.
After emailing a few wise people (friends and family) and getting their widely differing views on it, I prayed like I've never prayed before. Seriously, I've never come to God that broken before. It was humbling. I had some friends pray with me, both at the women's Bible Study last night and then with my dear friend Jen who prayed with such wisdom and insight. I went to bed still confused and calling out to God.
This morning was a whole new day! I woke with such peace in my heart. I got an email from my aunt and uncle in Alberta who cautioned me to not get involved, to not take a side, to just listen and pray. They also recommended that I follow our Minister and I plan to do just that. He's our shepherd and I'll trust that he's going to lead us with God in his heart. I know he's just a guy like the rest of us but I have faith that he's the right leader for this kind of chaos.
I'm volunteering at the church for two hours a day, three days a week until I leave for Halifax on the 10th. Today was my first day and it went great. Our secretary left me with a few jobs to do. I got them all done this morning so I asked our Minister if he has any little jobs that need to be done for tomorrow. I don't know if he will but I'll take my book and sit by the phone and wait for people to call just in case. We had one call today. I was nervous to answer but I did just fine. I'm experienced with cold calls, PYPS made me overcome that fear!!
I'm so excited about this trip! Only eight more sleeps! Jen and I told Jenny before church on Sunday morning. She shrieked in excitement for the next 25 minutes! It was so thrilling to listen to her!! haha. Jen and I are looking forward to celebrating her birthday with her. So now that the cat is out of the bag, I can tell you about my plans over the next few days.
Thank you to all of you guys who've been praying for me and my church. Please continue to pray that the evil that's passing from mouth to mouth at my church doesn't infect my heart. I need to read up on that spiritual armour stuff! Ya know, each of the people there are perfectly entitled to their opinions... I just wish they weren't so freakin' negative and awful to those who disagreed with them.
Talk to you soon!